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Return to Your First Love (part 2)
Written by Eli Miller
Tuesday, 24 August 2010 19:13
One Criticism “Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” (Rev.2:4)
Apparently time had taken its toll on the church at Ephesus, and in spite of their commendable behavior in many areas, their passionate love for the Lord had diminished. Perhaps they had become distracted because of the cares of life, or perhaps they had become so “mature” in their understanding of spiritual things that they allowed their focus to be shifted from him to status quo. Whatever caused them to have left their first love; the Lord brought it forcefully to their attention with the word, “nevertheless.”
First love is a heart response of faith. It is a quality of love that abandons all for love that has abandoned all for it. It is the love of espousal. It can be likened to the love of two people who have just been engaged. Such love is passionate and has great desire to be in the presence of the object of its affection.
Our first response toward the Lord was to realize our need for him. His love for us shattered the emptiness of our self-love and caused us to “love Him, because He first loved us.” (1 Jn.4:19) The awareness that he loved us caused us to respond in faith to his love.
Being consciously aware of God’s love is the foundation for all true spirituality, and is the basis upon which all trust in him rests. Attempting to relate to him on any other premise is a futile effort based in our own self-awareness and human merit – the ultimate exercise of vanity.
As with any human commitment, our relationship to Jesus Christ needs constant maintenance. There must be continual seeking of his face with the desire to be in his presence if our relationship is to remain vital and fulfilling. This takes a longing of the heart and an inclination of the ear with a passion to hear his voice.
There seems to be a concerted onslaught of distractions against the church of the present generation. These distractions are not necessarily sin, bad, or evil themselves, just things that divert us from having a clear and conscious focus and passion for Jesus Christ. These could be the interruptions of modern society – phone calls, schedules, appointments, or whatever. They could also be just being busy with “doing” instead of “being.”
Three Commandments The Lord then gave three commandments in the first part of the next verse. These were given in an attempt to get the Ephesians’ first love restored. “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; and repent and do the first works.” (vs.5a)
The first commandment was to remember what had been, that is, the church at Ephesus was to compare their present spiritual state with what it had been in past. Most of the time the Lord wants us to forget our past, but there are times when we need to look back and compare.
Perhaps a few older members of the church thought back to the epistle that Paul had written to them three decades earlier, and recalled one of the things he had said: “Therefore remember that you, once Gentiles in the flesh–who are called Uncircumcision by what is called the Circumcision made in the flesh by hands–that at that time you were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.” (Eph.2:11-13)
Remembering the excitement and joy when those older believers first learned they could be partakers of the covenants of Israel must have challenged their hearts to respond to the Lord’s second command to repent. But repent of what? They were to repent of whatever distractions had caused them to leave their first love. Even now, the Lord promises to pour out his spirit and make his words known to anyone who responds to his reproof. He tells us in Proverbs 1:23: “Turn you at my rebuke; Surely I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you.”
The third commandment the Lord gave was to return and do the first works. The first work of a convert is to get established in the love of God and in his word. It is the normal heart response to having received love that is undeserved, unselfish, and unending. It is the realization of the price such love paid to redeem us from the unfruitful past of sin and guilt. It is the joy of having the weight of darkness and degradation give place to illumination and dignity. It means getting priorities rearranged and being refocused on The One who became poor that we might be made rich in faith. (See 2 Cor.8:9)
Remember how after you first met the Lord, you loved to study the Bible until well into the night, and how nothing was more important than a regular time of prayer? Remember the joy you experienced when you shared your newfound faith and saw someone come to the Lord for salvation.
Perhaps you have allowed distractions to crowd out your passion for the Lord. Perhaps the joy of your salvation is not as contagious as it once was. It might not take much of an excuse to reason yourself out of gathering with fellow believers for prayer and worship.
If you can’t remember when you last shared your faith with someone – not your doctrine or where you go to church – these three commandments apply to you.
The Lord said if anyone will heed his challenge to get refocused, he “will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the LORD; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart.” (Jer.24:7)
Getting refocused is not a great chore. “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure." (Phil.2:13) The Lord is so desirous of a more meaningful relationship with you that he not only provides the heart and will to return to him, he also gives you the ability to do so. The only ingredient still necessary is for you to see your need, and then make the choice to return to your first love.
He is waiting for you.
One Consequence The second part of verse 5 gives the consequences of not heeding the Lord’s challenge to return to him with the passion of our first love. He said if there was no response to his challenge, he “will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place–unless you repent.” (Rev.2:5b)
I have known people and churches who once were “on fire” for the Lord, but who no longer serve or acknowledge him in any significant manner. It is sad to observe a “lampstand” that has been “removed” and gone out, where the light that was once burning brightly gave way to darkness again. When darkness takes over, the testimony that was once so vibrant is silenced. “If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Mt.6:23b)
I remember an experience I had almost 40 years ago in which the Lord taught me the importance of maintaining my relationship with him. It was during a time of worship and praise on a Sunday morning meeting. The church had entered into a glorious time of worship, and we were in an attitude of free praise to the Lord. Suddenly, it was as if someone poured a bucket of cold water down my back. My arms fell to my side, and I looked at the congregation praising and thought, what are these people doing?
At that moment the Lord spoke to me, saying, “Son, don’t ever take the anointing for granted, because without it, you would be reduced to your natural understanding with no comprehension of what I am doing.” That having been said, the anointing welled up in me again, and I raised my hands in submission and worship. The whole experience probably only lasted 30 seconds, but I have never forgotten it.
The Apostle Paul knew the necessity of maintaining his relationship with the Lord and gave this sobering admonition to the Corinthians: “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.” (1 Cor.9:27)
All relationships require maintenance. With the many pressures and distractions of the 21st century clamoring for our attention, one must stay focused and give diligence to the things that are important. And what could be more important than staying in a passionate love relationship with Jesus Christ? If we recognize our need to maintain our family and personal relationships, how much more should we give attention to our relationship with him? One Credit Always one to encourage his church, the Lord gave the Ephesians another credit in spite of his reproof: “But this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.” (Rev.2:6)
In this letter to Ephesus, the Lord addresses the deeds of the Nicolaitans, while in the letter to Pergamos he addresses their doctrine. (vs.15) As mentioned earlier, what one believes determines one’s conduct. From what I have read in my resource material, this sect taught that liberty in Christ was all-inclusive. That is, after becoming a believer, they taught that God’s grace liberated one from all objectives of the Mosaic Law, thus excusing one’s personal conduct. Consequently, they are thought to have practiced various degrees of immorality, including the community of wives. Their love feasts often degenerated into pagan orgies and included deliberately eating meats offered to idols to show their liberty.
In spite of having left their first love for Christ, the Ephesians apparently still practiced self-restraint and maintained a generally accepted level of spirituality. The foundations of their faith required that the sacrilegious practices of the Nicolaitans could not be tolerated. Therefore, they hated the practices of this sect under the pretense of Christianity. The Lord took note of their disgust and credited them for it.
One Commitment Now that the Lord had given commendations, criticism, commandments, consequences, and credit, he also made a commitment to the Ephesians and all other believers who will heed his instructions. He said, “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches; ‘To him who overcomes will I give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.'" (Rev.2:7)
The first thing to note in this verse is to whom the Lord makes this commitment. It is to “he who has an ear.” Obviously he is not referring to people who only have one natural ear, because mankind was created with two ears. This phrase was used by the Lord 16 times in the New Testament, each time to draw specific attention to what had just been said. Eight of these occurrences were during his ministry on earth and eight were after his resurrection. (See Mt.11:15; 13:9, 43; Mk 4:9, 23; 7:16; Lu.8:8; 14:35 and Rev.2:7, 11, 17, 29; 3:6,13, 22; 13:9)
When each use of this phrase is studied, an interesting principle is observed. In every occurrence where Jesus used it during his ministry on earth, he said “ears” plural, but in every occurrence after the resurrection he said “an ear,” singular. Other than being an interesting observation, what does this tell us?
Before his resurrection, the Lord spoke to natural, unregenerate people who were listening to him with their natural ears. However, after the resurrection, he spoke to regenerated people who were supposed to hear him with a single ear, as well as seeing with a single eye. (See Mt.6:22)
Consequently, the Lord always spoke to the single-mindedness of the new creation man. This shows that all distractions are to be “tuned out” by the Lord’s followers and a single focus is to be maintained. The reason is so that double-mindedness does not become our spiritual state. Being double-mindedness causes spiritual instability and limits our ability to receive the bountiful provisions the New Covenant promises.
The Epistle of James addresses this double-minded condition and states that in addition to being “like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind, …let not that man suppose that he shall receive any thing from the Lord.” (Ja.1:6-7)
In light of this truth, is there any question why the enemy uses distractions in an attempt to dull our sense of hearing and to draw our attention from our relationship with the Lord? He knows that if our spiritual state stays vital and fresh, we will continually walk in the light of truth and see him for what he is. He does not want that to happen, because his deeds are evil and he needs darkness in which to practice them.
It is into this context that the Lord makes his commitment: “To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.”
Overcome what?
Overcome allowing distractions to dull our spiritual senses which cause us to leave our first love for lesser pursuits. For all who either maintain their first love or return to it, the Lord promises access to the tree of life.
Consider this promise! Adam and Eve lost their right to the tree of life because of the tempter’s distraction. Had their relationship with the Creator been more important to them than the momentary pleasures of self-indulgence, they could have lived forever in the blissful state of the Garden they were in.
How do we know that? Because part of Man’s judgment was to be driven out of Eden, “lest he put out his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever--” (Gen.3:22) If Adam could have gained access to the tree of life and lived forever in his fallen condition, consider the value of having access restored to the “tree” in a recovered condition!
Though it is not my intention to address the subject at this time, every provision of God is available in that tree of life. That is the reason the way to it is guarded by “cherubim…and a flaming sword which turned every way” (Gen.3:24) since Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden. To think that full access can be restored to this eternal source of life by simply overcoming the tendency to allow distractions to misdirect our affections is almost overwhelming in its simplicity!
Should this not be incentive enough to refocus on the love of God? Should such a promise from the Lord not be enough motivation to turn from meaningless drivel and abandon ourselves to our first love as a believer? Should not our response be stimulated with the knowledge that if we will but return to the Lord with our whole heart, he will restore everything Man lost in the Fall? Let us forsake all distractions and false lovers, and return to our first love! “Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things, you shall never stumble; for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Pet.1:10-11)
“Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, To God our Savior, who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.” (Jude 24-25)
While the Apostle John was on the Isle of Patmos, he was given visions for the seven churches in Asia, and commissioned to write to the leadership (angel) of those churches about the things he had seen. These were prominent, well-established congregations of that time. Many relevant and applicable lessons can be learned from these letters.
The first letter the Lord instructed John to write was “to the angel of the church of Ephesus.” He addressed the church, saying, “These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands.” (Rev.2:1)
To fully grasp the significance of the word the Lord sent to this church, we need to look at a bit of its history. Ephesus was a great commercial center of Asia Minor, located at the mouth of the Cayster River and on the shore of the Aegean Sea, about 50 miles south of Smyrna. It was noted for the great temple of Diana, one of the wonders of the ancient world.
The church at Ephesus had been established 40 years prior to having the Revelation letter written to it. When Paul had arrived in the region on a trip through Asia Minor, he found a few disciples who were converts of Apollos who knew only the message preached by John the Baptist.
The Apostle Paul asked these disciples if they had received the Holy Spirit since they believed. They responded that they had not heard anything about the Holy Spirit being given. After giving them a short message of further enlightenment, Paul prayed for them and they were baptized as believers in Jesus, and in the Holy Spirit. (Acts 18:24-19:7)
The Church at Ephesus
As was Paul’s custom at that time, “he went into the synagogue and spoke boldly for three months, reasoning and persuading concerning the things of the kingdom of God.” (Acts 19:8) But as is often the situation when the Lord brings a message that challenges the accepted understanding of the day, notice what happened: “But when some were hardened and did not believe, but spoke evil of the Way before the multitude...” (vs.9a)
After trying daily for three months to bring an understanding of the kingdom of God to the people, a segment of them not only stubbornly refused to receive the truth, they began to speak evil of the message and maligned the messenger. Realizing he had no other choice if he wanted to establish the young church in present truth, “he departed from them and withdrew the disciples, reasoning daily in the school of Tyrannus. And this continued for two years, so that all who dwelt in Asia heard the word of the Lord Jesus, both Jews and Greeks.” (vs.9b-10)
In those two years the church at Ephesus grew vigorously with extraordinary miracles and mighty deliverance taking place. There was such a visitation of the Lord, the people publically burned sorcery books worth 50 thousand pieces of silver. The revival even impacted the economy of the city. This caused Demetrius, a silversmith, to incite a citywide riot on behalf of the prominent licentious goddess, Diana. (See Acts 19:11-41)
In all, Paul spent three years at Ephesus, teaching publically and from “house to house.” He told the elders of the church he had “kept back nothing that was helpful” to them, and that he had “not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God.” (Acts 20:20, 27, 31) When he moved on to go to other places, he left Timothy there to “charge some that they teach no other doctrine, nor give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which cause disputes, rather than godly edification which is in faith.” (1 Tim.1:3-4)
Consider the rich spiritual foundation of this church: Three years of revelation ministry through one of the greatest apostles of all time. And by his own testimony, he had declared the full counsel of God to them! In other words, everything the Spirit had revealed to Paul at the time had been taught to this church.
Though we don’t know everything Paul taught them, they would have heard great Tabernacle truths. Though Gentiles, they would have learned God’s plan for the ages as revealed through the Feasts of Israel. They would have understood that the “acceptable year of the Lord” (Isa.61:2) began with the ministry of Jesus and continued throughout the church age. They would have been aware the church age would continue for millenniums until “the dispensation of the fulness of times.” (Eph.1:10)
We can learn some of what Paul had taught the Ephesians when we read the epistle he wrote to them eight years later. Some of the most glorious truths of scripture are revealed in this wonderful letter, a letter that was obviously understood by those to whom it was written. In it, he wrote of the great mystery that Gentiles could be heirs with Christ and partakers of the covenants of Israel. He reminded them that they were chosen in Christ and were seated in heavenly places as the result. Knowing he did not need to explain further what he meant, he spoke of the unsearchable riches of Christ and the manifold wisdom of God.
Paul also gave practical advice on the Ephesians need to walk in a way fitting the glorious gospel they had embraced. He reminded them of their calling to grow up in Christ, and of the warfare they would encounter along the way. He encouraged them to stand in the truth they knew while wearing the whole armor of God.
How many Christians today would give almost anything to have been in a church with such a wonderful and solid apostolic foundation? Surely it would be difficult to find a church that was established with a better spiritual heritage than the church at Ephesus.
The Ephesians Church in Revelation
With this bit of historical background established, we can return to the letter written to the Ephesians in the book of Revelation. This letter was written 40 years after the church had been established, and 32 years after Paul wrote his epistle to them.
The “angel” the letter was written to wasn’t an angel as we think of angels. There would be no need to write a letter to an angel – I don’t know that they could even read it! The Greek word translated “angel” is also translated “messenger” in several verses. Because the physical “messenger” of a church is the leadership of that church, we conclude this letter was written to the overseers of the Ephesians church, perhaps even a few elders who had met Paul on his way to Jerusalem were included in this “angel.”
The Lord said he held the ministers of the church (the seven stars of Revelation 1:20) in his right hand, and walked among the various churches he was addressing. This reality can provide great courage for us when we consider that the Lord holds his ministers in his hand and can direct them as he wishes. It can also provide some concern when we realize that he walks in and among the activities of the various churches, observing both the individuals and the collective body of believers. And if he did it then, should we not conclude he does as much today?
The letter continues: “I know your works, your labour, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars: and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary.” (Rev.2:2-3)
In these verses, Lord gave the Ephesians church 10 commendations. I’m certain most churches today would be quite pleased to receive so much credit from the Lord! I’ll look briefly at these 10 areas as they pertain to the context of the letter.
Ten Commendations
“I know your works.” The Lord knew the works of this church – and all churches – because he walks among them. It can be very encouraging to know the Lord does not miss any of our well doings and is willing to acknowledge them. He also knows our wrongdoings and is willing to point them out to us so we can become free from them.
Notice that the Lord did not say, “I know your doctrine.” The doctrines one holds are often not as important as the attitudes and mind set produced by those doctrines. Doctrine, i.e., that which one holds to be true, determines the way we see and relate to God, our neighbors, and ourselves.
“Your labor.” The Lord knows the ministry involvement of the church, and especially, the spiritual labor of the church leadership. No church endeavor is too small to escape his watchful eye, or receive his comment. Jesus alluded to this when he said that even giving a cup of water in his name would be rewarded. (See Mk.9:41) “Your patience.” Remembering that this church had been taught the full counsel of God, and understood the timing and workings of the Kingdom of God, the patience referred to relates to that understanding. Having received an apostolic foundation of truth, they knew the seasons of God and how those related to God’s overall timetable. They knew some revelation would not be fulfilled until “the dispensation of the fulness of times” came in that timetable. (Eph.1:10) Consequently, they had a level of patience through their understanding of the overall plan of God that the Lord was willing to commend. “And that your cannot bear those who are evil.” The evil of their generation was such a grievous concern for this church that they could hardly bear it. Idolatry and the service of mammon were all around them, and the pursuit of licentious pleasure was the order of the day.
Similar circumstances prevail in this generation as self-serving politicians buy votes through accommodating and championing the causes of special rights groups. The resulting moral decline in society raises a continuing concern to all who have a godly orientation.
“And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not.” Bringing forth an entirely new spiritual orientation after 1500 years of Moses was a significant challenge of that day. Men claiming to have a message from God, saying that keeping the Mosaic law was essential to receiving salvation and God’s blessing, made their rounds. However, the true apostolic foundation of this church prepared them to discern both the messenger and the message so that they were not deceived.
Then as now, Nehemiah.8:8 gives the three-fold standard for any true ministry commissioned by Jesus: “So they read distinctly from the book, in the law of God; and they gave the sense, and helped them to understand the reading.” Reading distinctly requires rightly dividing the word of truth, and giving the sense makes application of the word, which in turn enables the hearers to apply what they have heard. If these three factors are not present in the message of a ministry, perhaps the Lord has not sent them.
“And have found them liars.” The Lord commended the Ephesians for their ability to not only discern the messages they heard, but also the messengers who brought them. Because of their foundation in truth, they had learned to trust the anointing in them to give them a witness to further truth when they heard it. Without receiving that witness, they knew that what was presented was not from the Lord.
People often filter the word they hear through past experience and understanding. When this is done, they do not really hear the word that is given, they only hear the word as it relates to their past experience. This “clouds” their ability to discern between truth and error.
This is also true on a personal level. Many people read scripture with the perspective of wanting to find confirmation to what they already believe, rather than approaching it from the standpoint of knowing nothing and needing to be taught by the Spirit. If the word of truth is read and heard through such filters, spiritual growth plateaus and stagnates.
“And you have persevered.” This commendation relates to the two given just prior to it and applauds how they endured the folly of ministers who claimed to be something they were not, alleging to have a message that was proven to not be true. Their patience and understanding of truth enabled them to bear with such folly. “And have patience.” This is the Lord’s second commendation regarding the patience of this church. This one relates to their character. In spite of some of the ministers and messages they had been subjected to, their confidence was in the Lord’s ability to be in control in spite of them. They knew regardless of what was preached the promises of the truth would be received through faith and patience. “And have labored for My name’s sake.” This is also the Lord’s second tribute to the church regarding their labor, however this time adding that their labor was for his name’s sake. They apparently had continued doing what was needed for the sake of the gospel and the honor of his name by maintaining a testimony in their lives and ministry.
“And have not become weary.” Not only had the church maintained a testimony of character, they continued a significant quality of Christianity. Though some of the people had perhaps endured great hardships for their testimony, they had kept the faith they had embraced in the beginning.
Most churches and individuals today would be quite pleased to receive as much tribute from the Lord for their endeavors. Perhaps after hearing such praise, many people would be busy “polishing their halos” and patting themselves on the back for a job well done. However, the Lord has a few more things to say to this church.
Fathers are unique. They are the source of a family; without them, none of us would be here. Fathers have a life-long effect upon their offspring, influencing and shaping the direction of coming generations. Ultimately, the influence of fathers shapes the entire society.
Being a father is much more involved than just having the ability to procreate - almost any healthy male can do that. A father assumes the full responsibility for his offspring. He does not expect others to nurture them, but provides for his own. He has within him an inherent sense of commitment to see his children mature and follow in his footsteps. He sees himself as the sustainer of his “creation”.
Sons and daughters will look back on the relationships with their “dads” to their dying day. Some of the memories will be recalled with fondness - others, wished to be forgotten.
A father is aware that he is the strength of his family. That strength will be used to motivate and direct his household all his days. He will either instill a proper sense of self-esteem or he cripples his posterity with continual berating.
A father realizes the training given to his sons today will help shape tomorrow. The emotional well-being of his daughters will largely depend on his own relationship with them. His influence will help prepare them for their own families and future responsibilities.
Fathers are aware that they are primarily accountable for the stability of their home. In light of this, they demonstrate dependability and integrity. Fathers will not require of others that which they would not take the initiative to do themselves. They lead by example.
The standards of a home are largely established by the example of fathers. If respect for others is inherent in dad, the rest of the family will be inclined to follow suit. If he is an example of affection and love, harmony will be the order of the day. If dad is not trustworthy, the family will begin to dissolve.
One of the greatest needs in our society is the re-establishing of positive role models in the home. Young people are looking for someone to look up to, someone to be an example. There is only one opportunity to positively influence the next generation - today. Make time for your children. If you don't - somebody will.
Fathers, this is a good time to check yourselves and see how you measure up. There is no better time than the present to go over a bit of a check-list and begin to fulfill what is your God-given role in society. The generations to come will be forever grateful.
“Children are fortunate if they have a father who is honest and does what is right.” ~ Proverbs 20:7 TEV
Western civilization has in many ways become a “throw away” society. Nothing seems to have intrinsic value, and for many people, life itself – at least in others – has been practically reduced to meaninglessness. The evening news tells us of people being murdered for a pair of shoes, or a particular brand of jacket. Countless innocent children are abducted every year and used for unthinkable perversions.
In many places it is unsafe to walk the streets of even small towns because of the disregard for the value and sanctity of human life. Assisted suicides fuel the debate of the practicality of “merciful” euthanasia – from a Greek word for a “good death” – especially as the demographics of the population is shifting when seniors will soon outnumber children. Could it be that a generation that sowed in abortion will reap euthanasia?
Could we be approaching the realities of a futuristic letter written by a "Mrs. Jane McDonald" that I ran across in my files recently, which as I read it again, caused me to shudder at the possibilities. Perhaps the time is coming when such a mindset will be more truth than fiction.
Here is a copy of the letter:
"January 22, 2023
Dear Mom,
Gosh, can you believe it’s 2023 already? I’m still writing “2022” on nearly everything. Seems like just yesterday I was sitting in first grade celebrating the century change! I know we haven’t chatted since Christmas. Sorry. Anyway, I have a few things to tell you and I really didn’t want to call and talk face to face.
Ted’s had a promotion, and I should be up for a hefty raise this year if I keep putting in those crazy hours. You know how I work at it. Yes, we’re still really struggling with the bills. You were right about over-buying on the house, but it IS nice.
Timmy’s been “okay” at kindergarten although he’s still not happy about going. But then he wasn’t happy about daycare either, so what can you do?
He’s become a real problem, Mom. He’s a good kid, but quite honestly he’s an unfair burden at this time in our lives. Ted and I have talked this through and through and finally made a choice. Plenty of other families have made it and are much better off.
I don’t expect you to “understand,” but you need to be sensitive to our circumstances. I can’t afford years of parenting with Timothy and have any sort of career, much less any time with my husband. Do you know how long it’s been since we just went out together?
Our pastor is supportive and says hard decisions sometimes are necessary. The family is a “system” and the demands of one member shouldn’t be allowed to ruin the whole. He told us to be prayerful, consider ALL the factors, and do what is right to make the family work. He says that even though he probably wouldn’t do it himself, the decision really is ours. He referred us to a children’s clinic near here, so at least that part’s easy.
I’m not an uncaring mother. I do feel sorry for the little guy. I think he overheard Ted and me talking about “it” the other night. I turned around and saw him standing on the bottom step in his pj’s with the little bear you gave him under his arm and his eyes sort of welling up. The way he looked at me just about broke my heart. But I honestly believe this is better for Timothy too. It’s not fair to force him to live in a family where there isn’t enough money or room.
Please don’t give me the kind of grief Grandma gave you over your abortions. It’s the same thing, you know. Anyway, they say the termination procedure is painless.
I guess it’s just as well you haven’t seen that much of him. Love to Dad.
Jane"
One must question how such selfish disregard for life could possibly be in the human mind. But if we just reflect on some of the atrocities committed the past few years by depraved individuals, it becomes apparent that society as we have known it is being challenged for its very existence.
Scripture is being fulfilled before our eyes: “Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil” ~ Ecclesiastes 8:11.
Regardless of what intimidating headlines might scream at us tomorrow, let’s appeal to our Maker that He open our ears to hear His word, that He gives us hearts to understand, and feet that are swift to walk in all He speaks. Allow your confidence arise to believe that He who began a good work is also able to complete it.
It is time to commit ourselves to godliness instead of gain, obedience instead of indulgence, and faith instead of frustration. May we love Him who first loved us, serve Him who first served us, and trust Him who alone is trustworthy.
It is time to present ourselves wholly to the Lord, and incline our heart to and ear to Him, committing ourselves to careful and deliberate obedience. No longer can we just go through the motions of godliness and rely on our revelation to see us through the coming days. We must allow the overcoming life of Christ to come forth in us and bear the precious fruit for which our Heavenly Husbandman has been patiently waiting.
